Not enough

I’m not very good at updating, and not very good at communicating at all at the moment. I have too much to do, and not enough energy. I want to gather my thoughts, I want to write and paint, and be creative! But I don’t have the energy. All my energy goes to survival. The most necessary things: basic hygiene, eat, sleep etc, and survival on another level, ie paying bills, making sure I’ve sent in the documents needed to the government, go to the doctor… And the most important thing for me, that both takes and gives energy: taking care of my animals. They take physical energy and give me the strength to continue on. Without them… I’d be an empty shell. Without my fiancé and my family, I’d be dead, most likely.

I want so much… All the things I’d like to do…

This life. This confinement. Having a body that doesn’t measure up. That fails me. It’s not enough, but what if it has to be? What if the cure doesn’t come, or comes too late? 

If you want to try and help find a cure, click here to come to Open Medicine Foundation website and donate to the End ME/CFS Project.

If you are healthy, appreciate it. You might be tired and overwhelmed by life, but if your body has energy, if you wake up and feel refreshed after a night’s sleep, appreciate it. Stretch your legs walking to the bus in the morning. Feel how they carry you, safe and secure. Breathe in the fresh air. Look up to the sun and enjoy the last days of summer. See the beauty around you. Live life the best you can, and remember us. The people who cannot. The millions missing from society, from life.